Kiku Vs The Pink Robots
by irascendedlolkitten
Summary: Like the song except Kiku is Yoshimi. Alfred is captured by the evil pink robots so Kiku trains to defeat the evil machines and rescue Alfred. Their people doubt Kiku can win but Alfred believes in his boyfriend. He knows that Kiku won't let those robots eat him. Will Kiku be able to kick robot ass and rescue his Alfred?


So Alfred is totally preparing for a super awesome birthday celebration this year with his boyfriend Kiku, all of the G7, many other nations in particular his awesome palls Denmark and Prussia who were always up to celebrate his birthday with him in style. He like tons of hot dogs, hamburger meat bruits and other bbq meats ready to go. Not only that but they had red and blue cool aid and tons of deserts including strawberry short cake and ice-cream ready to go. Also he had loads of kegs of beer, wine (for France and Italy), lots of other stuff to drink, and the harder stuff for Iggy's strange sulking ritual he seemed to love to do. For Kiku (yes, Kiku has trained him to remember these things) he has his favorite Sushi and other Japanese foods as well but done up with a red, white and blue theme which he is sure Kiku will love. Kiku always has the cutest reactions to colorful food.

Well like he said, every thing was set and ready to go. America was just waiting in a park near his place that had a pond that had ducks with families to feed bread to. He was doing this to help distract himself via cuteness from his excitement. And like the baby ducks were super cute…so like one can forgive the fact that he didn't notice a giant pink robot sneaking up on him until it was too late, right? I mean he is tough nation if these pink robots had not used dirty tactics they would have been smoldering piles of rubble for sure. Plus duck feeding is serious business, the cuteness must be appreciated properly otherwise it goes to waste. So when having been conducting a task of such vital delicacy and importance anyone could have been caught in ummm deep concentration (he was not daydreaming!)

So yeah the stupid evil pink robots had caught him around his middle and in the process trapping his arms to his sides with one of it's tendrils while he had been too busy making sure his ducklings were safe. He had tried using his considerable strength as a large populous nation to break free but a las it seems the things could use electricity as well as be clingy and annoying. So yeah the things freaking zapped him. Can you believe that? They must have used like a butt load of volts on him too because they managed to knock him out for what he's gathered was a gathered is a while since they've some how transported him to what must be their secret bases. Which isn't easy to do, because like he said before he's tough and he 'Merica!

Though right now he's not feeling so hot or awesome being that he is tied up with freakishly strong metallic cables and the way they have his limbs tied to this weird circular metal frame work. What bothers him the most about his current position is the way it has him feeling helpless and exposed exactly like a pinned biological specimen. Feeling helpless is one of America's top 10 least favorite things, plus he stills feels a painful tingling ache from the electricity and woozy from whatever the weird vanilla smelling substance he's forcing him to breath in through this stupid mask. Even Worse they have all these TV screens hooked up so he can see his nation and the world freaking out due to his disappearance and the Robot aliens demands. That and the what he guesses is the robot because it's the biggest keeps coming and saying stupid things like resistance is futile and that they were going to eat him. Pfft If Alfred had believed that then their wouldn't be anything special to celebrate on July 4th.

Poorly as he may feel he blushes none the less and his heart soars when he sees his Kiku declaring to his press his intention to rescue. His press and his people don't believe that the smaller nation can defeat these evil machines. Alfred however believes that Kiku won't let these robots eat him. Alfred knows Kiku won't let stupid pink robots defeat him. Alfred is confident that Kiku is strong enough to win be that as it may he can't help but be concerned for Kiku nor can he resist feeling bad that Kiku must come rescue him.

Abruptly the evil pink robots seem upset about something the large computer monitors distributed generously amongst all the wires and weird sparking and moving machinery change their display from room to what looks to be footage of what is happening outside the facility. Alfred feels a thrill of excited recognition when he sees Kiku facing off against hordes of giant robots. Despite himself Alfred has a moment of worry an doubt when he sees Kiku who is looking gorgeous in that black suit but also so small compared to those hideous giant robots! However America is soon given cause to feel relief as he watches Kiku make short work of the robots all the while displaying feats of agility. "Wha hook that's what I'm talking about! Way to go Kiku!" America shouts summoning up all his enthusiasm despite drugs he's being force to inhale and the muffling caused by the mask.

The biggest robot glares at him and says in a tiny voice "Resistance is futile. Our security is flawless."

"LOL dude. It doesn't seem flawless to me" Says America.

The robot some how manages to glare even more aggressively at America who seems like he could care less"whatever dude. Just tellin' it like it is." says America.

However any further conversation between America and his uninvited techno alien party crashers is cut short by the sudden arrival of the still breath tackingly fashionably cool Kiku in suitable badass style. He had like totally cut a hole through a giant robot who was blocking his way similar to some much less and less gross version of the first instar of the aliens from the aliens movie.

"Release my Alfred!" Kiku shouts then Alfred isn't sure from this distance but he seems to be blushing (awww) " I..I mean release my America!…Release America…now!"

"Kiku" America calls loudly "what too you so long?"

"Gommen Alfred-kun. I had locate their secret base and take my vitamins." Kiku explains.

"Oh..oh ok that makes sense. Anyway, I knew you weren't going to let these evil robots eat me." Alfred yells back.

" Hai Alfred-kun. " Kiku Agrees "now just sit back and wait while I make these so called robots into scrap metal for disrespecting the honor of a version of Miss Hello Kittie's favorite color."

However Kiku hasn't seemed to have noticed one of the larger robots sneaking up on him nor it's giant hand quickly closing in on Kiku's location.

"Watch out Kiku!" Alfred cries "behind you!"

Responding instinctively Kiku leaps up in the air and is running up the robots huge arm and thus calling on all his warriors greatest skills to use the Robot's strength against it. When Kiku reaches it's shoulder he turns and slices the head off and then uses a downward slice to cut the robot's body in half.

Alfred would have enjoyed to watch Kiku dismantle more of these dastardly robots but apparently the evil boss robot has other plans for him; since it grabs yanking him free of his bonds only to restrain him within it's monstrous fist. "d - dammit" Alfred mutters in frustration. If he wasn't effected by that stupid vanilla gas he would probably be able to break free now! He hated not being able to kick an ass who was dire need of kicking! Not to mention..ouch! …Being manhandled like this!

"Alfred!" Kiku yells alarmed at the site of his boyfriend being held in the giant robots fist like a doll. Kiku tries to charge forward to stop the giant Robot and he is so distracted that he doesn't see the arm of one of the robots he had been engaged in battle with until it's too late and it smacks him across the room into the wall.

"Kiku! Alfred screams, impressively loud despite the limited capacity of his lungs under the circumstances. Alfred struggles furiously to break free of the robots grasp. His Kiku is lying slumped and bleeding across the room with far too many robots ready to mob him any moment. Alfred is not going to just hang here and do nothing! But despite his best efforts America's strength abnormal strength had not yet returned to him and every time he tried to struggle out of the robots grasp it's grasp grows tighter around his body.

Alfred looks down again at Kiku helplessly, he needs more time! "Kiku get up!" He yells as he sees the other robots, too many robots closing in on a Kiku who is struggling to get to his feet clearly still stunned by the monstrous blow. "Kiku run!" Alfred cries as the big bad boss robot smiles an inhuman robot smile. Kiku on the other hand isn't moving fast enough and is soon swarmed by the mass of pink robots.

"NOoooo! Kiku!" Alfred cries in rage and fear. Dammit he can't even see Kiku anymore just a massive pile of robots… Alfred attention is abruptly wrenched away from Kiku as he finds himself way too close to the giant robots freakishly huge maw, it big enough to devour him easily and it's jaws are slowly opening. However Alfred is finding it hard to care. Without Kiku everything is so much less awesome. A world with Kiku by his side would be bland and colorless; everything is just too sad and not awesome at all. Still Alfred is defiant and quips "I hope I give you fucking indigestion!"

Within his prison of metal and grappled by the robots Kiku hears the despair in Alfred's cries. He finds the strength to swing his sword arm once again despite the weight of robots piled on him because for one, it would not do for Japan of all nations to be bested by mecha and most importantly Alfred is calling him. Suddenly the pile quivers and then theirs a blast of air like a shock wave, a flash of electricity as the robots are sent flying in every direction. Their is a variable storm of robot pieces and sword slices. Within the storm stands Kiku his fashionable suit some what singed but not un tastefully so, a bit bloody, his hair bit ruffled but his eyes are a light with fierce determination. "Unhand Alfred-kun now malevolent mecha!" Kiku demands.

"OMG Kiku that was so badass and awesome! Do it again!" Alfred cheers enthusiastically seemingly not noticing that he is now held only by his ankle upside down before the robots gaping maw.

"Alfred!" Kiku cries in terror.

"Ah ha ha oops. Dammit!" Alfred feels his strength returning but it's no good to him in this position!

Suddenly the giant robot releases it's grip on Alfred and awesome though Alfred may be his awesomeness can't resist the pull of gravity and he falls into the robots massive mouth which closes impossibly fast with a sinister metallic sound. Kiku can't believe it, the evil giant robot has eaten his boyfriend whole. But there may still be time. Kiku knows he doesn't have time to dismantle the robot close up. He calls on all the technological knowledge of his people and all the skill of his warriors past or present. Kiku takes aim and throws his katana as if it was throwing dagger sending it flying across the room like a lightning bolt. The katana slices through the robots head hitting it's vital areas and triggering a devastating chain reaction within it. Soon the mech is breaking into pieces sparking all over the place their a explosion and Kiku is forced to turn away, shielding his face. When it clears and Kiku looks again instead of the giant robot there is a pile of robot rubble.

Kiku dashes up to the smoldering pile and starts digging through the smoldering pile not caring if his fingers are cut or burned. "Kuso!" Japan cries in frustration punching the rubble and he must have something in his eyes for them to be leaking like this, that's all. Suddenly he he hears a scrapping sound and the rubble shifts. Kiku turns around and sees the giant robot's smoking and singed head shift. It's mouth seems to be moving and Kiku jumps back on guard, katana at the ready automatically, more for his people's sake than for his own personal safety. Then to Kiku is amazed and can not believe his eyes when it is revealed to be Alfred pushing the robots jaws apart from within. His white suit, blue star spangled shirt and red and white stripped tie slightly crisped but not torn too much. He steps out of the robots mouth with ease as if he does this everyday and who knows maybe he does. Or maybe it's just the power of America's absentminded awesomeness that he can come off this way without seemingly trying. "Dude your the best Kiku thanks for the assistance. I don't know what I would have done with out you. I'm pretty sure those evil robots planned to destroy us and it like would have been tragic dude. But like I totally knew that you wouldn't let those robots defeat me." Alfred chatters on while Kiku says nothing and just takes in the sight of his boyfriend safe and sound.

America quickly lopes over to Kiku who is sill sitting stunned kneeling in the rubble. Alfred bends down and coyly kisses Kiku on the tip of his nose and purrs "Dude…Earth to Kiku."

Then as seemingly broken from a spell Kiku surges forward and hugs Alfred around the middle fiercely enough that despite his smaller size he is actually lifting the man off his feet. "Baka baka baka yarou (stupid idiot)" Kiku mumbles "don't you ever scare me like that again, you hear me?" Kiku looks up into Alfred eyes still holding him around the middle and off the ground.

"Yes sir!" Alfred says with a serious voice even though his eyes are laughing. "Ummm wanna let me down now Kiku buddy?"

Kiku seems to come back to himself and realizes that he's got Alfred held in his arms in a awkward looking bear hug and says "hai" Then Kiku lowers his boyfriend back to the ground and releases him somewhat reluctantly.

"But hey, don't cry Kiku! You know no one can keep the hero down for long! Especially not on the 4th and when my Kiku is around to have anything to say about it" declares Alfred with such certainty that Kiku feels all of his doubt vanish in a heart beat.

"I wasn't crying I just had some dust in my eye that's all" looking up at Alfred smiling.

" Damn straight warehouses are known dust hazards!" Alfred agrees. Then a falling support beam and the increased amount of smoke reminds him of the current dangers of this warehouse. "umm Kiku, buddy I think we have out stayed our welcome!"

"Hai" Kiku says and after he retrieves his katana quickly sliding it's blade back to it's home in it's sheath the two make a hasty escape. In fact they escape just in time to perform a running leap to avoid the blast of the whole facility exploding in typical Hollywood fashion.

Later the two are curled up under blankets enjoying watching the fire works together surrounded by friends. Their bellies full on bbq and other 4th of July foods America's people had made. Japan had even eaten the sushi even though it also had blue food coloring on it because tonight he could care what color the food was. With the sound of pleasant racket of other nations conversing, the smell of food on the grill, and the play of different colored lights in the night lulling them; the two were soon fast asleep safe in each others arms.

AN: This fic is based on the Song by the Flaming Lips - Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots


End file.
